Confident Persona does not equal "Extrovert"

Yesterday I wrote a little about personality type...specifically my type. Of course, the personality type is more than introvert versus extrovert. The more I explore my type the more I recognize myself. If you are curious, my type is INFJ.

A Thing I Discovered

One major discovery I made in 2014 is that I'm not actually an extravert. Seriously. I've always sort of assumed I'm an extravert because I'm loud by nature. I'm loud and gregarious and I like people (for the most part). And, I'm typically comfortable speaking in public. 

I began to question my extravert-ness in 2013 when I was dealing with fatigue. I had a limited supply of energy and I began to crave time at home. Alone time was (and is) absolutely necessary.

Looking back, I've required alone time my entire life. (Clue?) As an adult, I have to have a certain solitude before starting work. I say "have to" when what I mean is "require".

For example, when I worked at the Big Bank in the Big Bank Building in the Big Town I started my day in the café. The café was often busy as people came in to pick up a muffin and a coffee to go. The tables behind the order bars were really there for the lunch crowd. But I found that if I took my muffin and tea to an out of the way table I had the quiet bliss I craved. The time and space to close my eyes as I savored the best pumpkin muffin in the world. It was the best muffin every. single. day. Sometimes friends and co-workers would spy me and ask to join. That was okay, but after they finished their muffin I would say, "I just need a minute. I'll be right up." And I did. I needed a minute to re-create the quiet moment that belonged to just me.

So, in early 2014, I worked with my friend Beth who is a life coach and a certified practitioner of Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®). I've always just said "Myers-Briggs".  One of the great things about working with Beth is that along using the type "test", Beth uses interviewing with very specific questions to help hone in on your personality type.

My own personal caveat to personalty assessments: when relying solely on your own answers to the bubble tests, sometimes you may get a "false positive". You unconsciously "trick" the test. That is, if you think you are an extravert you may answer questions "as an extravert". Okay, that may not happen to everyone...but has absolutely happened with me. I've found that if I take any assessments for work that I answer all in my "work" persona which is very different from my "private" persona.

The most memorable question Beth asked me was: "When you have a really horrible day, maybe at work, or your feelings are hurt, do you want to go out with friends or go home and be alone?"

Me: "Home." (and then I wanted to add...doesn't everyone?). Turns out that this is a specific way of "processing" and not everyone processes everything the same.

I know I've just stated the obvious but it's not cliché.

Having a better understanding of my natural ways of seeing the world and my natural ways of processing information and emotions has helped me have many "aha" moments. I'm still enjoying exploring this.

A Few Highlights from 2014

For the last three New Year's I memorialized highlights in postcard form. This is my version of a Year in Review. I decided to keep the tradition going.  Behold, I present the 2014 Highlights Card.

Have Yourself a Merry Little....

This is the week for celebrations! I'm getting excited about our Christmas Day plans.  We will be traveling to Wilmington to have Christmas with our daughter and her husband.  Can. Not. Wait. 

Last year was special as we were able to spend time with my husband's family in the picturesque Charlottesville. Lisa's house is the epitome of Christmas cheer. In addition to the lovely decor, there are sweets and treats galore. If she wanted to, Lisa could run a truly lovely Bed and Breakfast. Danielle was on the phone talking about our Christmases in Charlottesville. A Christmas memory that we make every year we are there is yummy White Russians or Kahlua and cream. I love, love, love them. And I have no will power when where Kahlua is concerned. D. and I were laughing that I usually have a few drinks and they taste just like dessert...and embarrassingly, I often end up a little tipsy. It happens so fast, I never expect it! I'm such a lightweight. 

This year we will be at D.'s house. She's talked about cookies and eggnog and I am so excited. 

I'm going to try to savor the last few days we have left of festive lights and good cheer. In case I don't sign on to say "Hello" between now and then...

I hope you have a  Merry Christmas!

Getting Into the Holiday Spirit

I've enjoyed lots of blogs sharing favorite yuletide movies and to get into the holiday mood I found myself actually watching a few. Thankfully, the movies I've watched haven't been too sugary sweet.

The first movie I fell into watching was "Dear Santa" (LifeTime). I was drawn in because I was trying to tell if the lead actress was from TV's "Person of Interest". Turns out, yes, she is the same actress. But on "Person of Interest" she's kind of scary/crazy. Though, I think they changed her character as being "for good".  Still...she's kind of dark in that role.

Anywho, her character was not dark in this movie. You could guess that because it was on the Lifetime channel AND the movie is "Dear Santa". But what I did love was that the character was kind of shallow. Not in a "bad" way but in a kind endearingly unaware way, à la "Clueless". 

There is something to be said about focusing on what color scarf you are going to buy without considering if you can afford it. For me, this is a guilty fantasy moment. The movie begins with Crystal (the lead) window shopping. She is looking at a ridiculously expensive party dress  and her biggest worry is if they have it in her size. 

Later, while her new dress is hanging in her closet, Crystal plays a voicemail from her mother that she half listens to. Mom is saying "blah blah...cut off...no more money...blah blah." I loved Crystal's non-reaction. She calls her best friend and says something like, "It looks like I need to get a job. I really have to focus on that." Then she says, with so much more enthusiasm, "Ooh, you know what else I need? I need a latte," and she tells her friend to meet her at their fav. coffee shop. 

See how great that is? No actual worry...just a passing thought that is equal in value to the thought of having a latte with a friend.

The movie is a fun Christmas story complete with a Christmas miracle or two. So, if you want a 90 minute pick me up...I recommend this one.

Oh, and I threw in my photo of Radio City Music Hall for extra Christmas cheer!