Elizabeth Gilbert Stopped By for a Chat...

Elizabeth Gilbert is on her book tour promoting the memoir, Committed, which was just released in paperback.  This week, her visit to Durham was sponsored by the Regulator Bookstore. This past Monday evening, I was part of the audience at the Durham Armory listening to Ms. Gilbert read from her book and engage in discussions with a Q&A.

Until fairly recently, I had been unaware of just what her most recognized book, Eat, Pray, Love, was all about. I tend to make it a point not to read anything that has been, or looks like it could have been, on the Oprah Booklist. This probably sounds like I'm a book snob...but not so.  I really enjoy reading both contemporary literature as well as the lighter "chick-lit" fair. I've read several Oprah books and found a certain sameness with undertones of melodrama.  For me, Oprah's book choice formula became "Oprah cliche".  I honestly do not know if Eat, Pray, Love is on Oprah's list, but when I saw the title it sounded very Oprahesque, so I didn't risk it.

I have to admit here, I still haven't read that book...though I did see the movie. Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem are both beautiful and I couldn't resist. For the most part, I enjoyed the movie. I enjoyed seeing the connection between Julia and Javier and the beautiful landscape they inhabited.  Though I must say I grew impatient with Julia's anguish before she decided to take that year off to "marvel at something".  

When I decided to go to Elizabeth Gilbert's reading I still knew very little about the author or her actual writing.  Curiosity pulled me to the reading.  Let me begin by saying that Ms. Gilbert is utterly enchanting. She read an excerpt from the fourth chapter entitled "Marriage and Infatuation".  Towards the end of her story, I was hooked.  Ms. Gilbert's humor is exactly what my doctor ordered.

I'm sure everyone reading this blog has either read Eat, Pray, Love, or seen the movie, so I don't need to do a spoiler alert here. At the end of the book/movie, Elizabeth/Julia falls in love with Javier Badem (very understandable).  But as both were previously divorced, they planned on living happily, unmarried, ever after.  The sequel, Committed, begins with the US government forcing a decision of either matrimony or exile for the couple.  Technically, only Javier/Felipe would be exiled, but couplehood without actually living in the same country seemed doomed. This new book is about the research and soul searching that Gilbert did as she began to reconcile her fear of marriage with her decision to enter into it with Felipe.

In the chapter that Gilbert read on Monday, she explores the difference in infatuation and the gritty reality of what it takes to be truly committed and why infatuation is not enough for the long haul.  Gilbert's interviews and research seemed to show that the less romanticizing of a relationship the stronger the commitment may be. Caution against romanticizing is not to say there should not be romance.  In fact, Gilbert acknowledges the beginning of her relationship with Felipe was classically romantic.  As she said, "for pity's sake, we met on the tropical island of Bali". During the heady time of early romance with Felipe Gilbert wrote her sister who was back home with kids and a house renovation.  Her sister's response?  "Yeah, I was planning to go to a tropical island this weekend with my Brazilian lover, too...but then there was all this traffic."

Now I'm hooked. I will read this book.

Happy Chinese New Year Y'all!

When I arrived at my desk this morning there was a red envelope with my name on it placed on my computer keyboard. I was immediately happy!~~ Even before opening the unexpected card I was happy.  The card from a colleague and is beautiful with images of rabbits and a wish for a Happy Chinese New Year. How cool was that?  I didn't realize that today was the first day of the Chinese New Year, much less that this is the year of the rabbit. The card made me happy, just having someone share a New Year's Wish--Chinese or otherwise was nice and the card is absolutely lovely.

I thanked my colleague for the card and he was quite gracious and explained a little about his Asian traditions.  For instance:  The Chinese New Year is a seven-day celebration.  This is a time to set the tone for the rest of the year.  Happy and peaceful thoughts are striven for during this celebration to encourage a happy peaceful year.  Sharing wishes of Good Luck to others opens yourself up for lucky blessings as well. Red is the color of luck and cards and gifts are most often given in red envelopes. 

Year of the Rabbit
I was quite charmed to receive a card and found it to be a really uplifting way to start my day.  I feel a little ashamed that I was completely oblivious to the fact that today was the official Chinese New Year.  I think I may have heard references to "Year of the Rabbit" lately, but it did not register.  Tonight I decided to learn a little more about what the "Year of the Rabbit" symbolizes. 

First of all, I found that 2010 was the year of the Tiger.  I also found out that I am the sign of the Tiger.  --So I completely missed out on knowing that 2010 was my year, so to speak.  It may be just as well that I didn't know.  Based on my reading, the Tiger year of 2010 is characterized as being "ferocious". Other adjectives used include: Dramatic, Torrid and Tumultuous.  One writer said there was hard work and "over-the-top passionate adventures". This will be countered with the Year of the Rabbit of 2011.  The Rabbit is described as being calm and peaceful.  The way to make the most of the Rabbit Year is to relax and go with it.  Don't push too hard...even if pushing typically works for you, it's recommended that this year you try to just "roll with it".  

Tiger Predictions
Curious what I missed by not knowing what 2010 had in store for me as a Tiger, I found an article written with the predictions for what Tigers could expect for 2010. (The article was published before the 2010 Chinese New Year began.)  Here is a glimpse of what was predicted:  Tigers were expected to see fun activities throughout all of 2010 with an especially active, entertaining social calendar in August and December spilling into January of 2011. The Spring of 2010 was to bring encouraging and interesting job opportunities, with the caveat that the Tiger would still have to push forward at work.

I must say that I don't typically allow myself a horoscope reading.  I am of the Christian faith and I can't help but associate astrology and horoscopes with the occult which is forbidden.  On the other hand, I want to have a balanced view. To some extent, I don't want to read a horoscope because I don't want to be influenced and either consciously or unconsciously allow a horoscope to become self-fulfilling due to powers of suggestion.  On the other-other hand, I actually believe that most horoscopes are written for entertainment value only.  I mean how can the entire populous born in my birth month have the exact same future?   

Year of the Tiger
I figured that in the interest of science I should review a previous prediction AFTER the time has elapsed to see if it was on target.  Since I didn't read the prediction until today, there was no chance that I was pre-influenced by the suggestions.  So how did the Tiger predictions fair?  First of all, the Tiger's year of the Tiger written in future tense had the elements of excitement and high energy with very positive tones.  Interestingly, the Year of the Tiger written from a historical perspective was written as being hectic and stormy.  It's as though the year were an overstimulated toddler.  --It starts out new and exciting and ends with a temper tantrum. 

I will say that my 2010 experience was exciting in very positive ways.  My husband and I decided last February to move our family from Seattle to NC (the town I grew up in).  --We lived in the Seattle area for 7 years and we were quite happy with many aspects of the life we built there.  But, we were missing opportunities to spend time with our family.  In June I was hired in a job that still excites me. We bought a house that we are making our own and it becomes more "us" every day.  I've really enjoyed the time spent with Dad and Mamacita as well as Sissies and Cousins.  --Not to mention friends I've had since high school and one very special friend that was raising two young daughters at the same time that I was raising my one young daughter.  I've been braver than I've ever been, trying new adventures and loving them such as canoeing, kayaking, zip lining and hiking in Mount Rainier.

For me, 2010 was a Tiger Year!  Looking forward to seeing what a Rabbit future holds.  So, I say Happy Chinese New Year...Y'all!

My Life In Magazines

Not long ago I had a stack of (well, three, anyway) magazines to read.  I was so pleased with myself.  I would be reading my rags to pass the time away...a past time I had not enjoyed recently.  I don't completely remember which magazines I had invested the time and money into on that recent afternoon.  Most likely it was one of the home decorating magazines on the stands.  I enjoy the photos in the decorating magazines and enjoy dreaming about using some of the ideas in my new home. 

The Redmond House (Seattle Area)

This is the house we bought when we moved to the Seattle area. It is in Redmond and was a great house for us. Once Danielle finished with high school, though, it started to seem to be too big. The house needs a young family...so we sold it to one. Here are photos to document what was a really pretty house.

We lived in the house for 5 years while Danielle was going to Middle School until she started College.  She was a student at Bellevue College, so she lived with us for the majority of the time.  As I said though, we did sell the house and spent the last two years in the Puget Sound in an apartment.  D got her own apartment as well.  Apartment living was fun as well....but that is another topic.

New Year's Resolutions

I had lunch with my sister today.  We met at the restaurant in my work complex.  I had fried shrimp and garlic fries. It was the first time my sis and I met for lunch during a workday.  She had the day off and came to me, which made it easier.  My point?  Garlic Fries!? I had garlic fries on the first Monday, the first work day for that matter, after New Year's Day!

Our waiter was fun and asked how we were doing on our resolutions. He said he had resolved to start smoking! Then he said he had quit smoking six years ago and it was one of the hardest things he had ever done.  But since he never keeps his New Year's resolutions, every year he resolves to start smoking.  So far, he said, it's helped him stay an ex-smoker.  ~ ~ Funny!

I enjoyed Max sharing his resolution so much that I shared mine:  To Gain More Weight!  And as I told him (and my sister) I've made great progress in this goal because I AM A DOER!

I decided not to beat myself up over the garlic fries because I drank like 24 ounces of water today.  --I don't like water.  I prefer diet coke.  But I know water should be on my Resolutions List.

Whenever I start to write my list I realize why I haven't written it yet:  I. Don't. Want. To! New Year's Resolutions are either "Do More" lists or "Don't Do" lists.  The "More" category is always things like: "Do More Exercise", "Lose More Weight" "Do. Do. Do. More. More. More."  The "Don't Do" category:  "Don't eat cake"; "Don't spend money"; "Don't drink Diet Coke".

Of course, these resolutions just make me feel bad about myself.  Bad that I need to lose weight, to begin with. Bad that I can't go a full day without Diet Coke (I like Diet Coke).  Bad that I don't want to give up diet coke.

Several years ago I saw the Jim Carey movie "Yes Man"...loved it! The movie came out in 2008, so I don't think I need to do a spoiler alert. Anyway, Jim's character ends up embracing the philosophy of saying yes to all opportunities that come his way.  --Literally saying yes to everything: "Do you want fries with that? ..."YES";  "Will you loan me ten bucks?" "Yes" "How about a hundred bucks?" "Yes".  Jim Carey found that by saying yes, even when it hurt, he was rewarded and enriched with new experiences. After seeing that movie I was inspired.  So, I decided to try it.  Before my "Yes Experiment", I found that I often said "I can't make it" when invited out to parties with friends.  Or I would say "maybe"...but never commit.  If I did say yes, I usually changed my mind (or got a headache) on the day of the party.  Why was I like this?  Truly I don't know.  The friends that invited me are people I truly enjoy.  And I usually think of myself as an extrovert.  So why not actually go to these parties?

I think I didn't see myself as the person that goes to parties.  I had defined myself as the mother of a teenager for more recent years.  The person who is either too busy with family activities or too tired from work and mothering to have the energy to go out.  But I made a conscious decision to say yes to each and every party.  And, ZING! I had a ball.  Each one was as fun as the last.  I had fun. I shared many many laughs with friends and found pieces of me that I hadn't let out to play for a while. That was a good year for resolutions!  Until I became so exhausted I had to stop.

I think I may be onto something though.