Looking Back to Move Forward

While much of 2012 was good and happy for me. It was also quite hard.

I didn't really write about the painful things. I was focused on just getting through and I didn't want to give power to the things that caused me heartache. For instance, in March I didn't say I was recovering from someone blindsiding me. Their actions were vindictive and mean-spirited. It happened several times and escalated each time. And each time I was surprised and felt unguarded and confused.

My mother taught me a rhyme when I was little. I bet almost every mother taught it: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me".  I'm here to tell you that words can definitely hurt. Their effects are not containable. As well as hurting hearts, they can damage reputations. If left unchecked, they can also damage peripheral (often far-reaching) relationships.

So, yeah. That happened.

Over the course of the year, while I did not go into details, I did share my heartache. Below are a few snippets:

My heartache has eased and I feel I'm leaving a lot of that negative energy behind me. I feel stronger now. I'm always surprised when these types of things happen. I mean...who couldn't love me? I'm FUN.



My health has offered obstacles too. My knee(s) are STILL a problem. Asthma and fatigue have been like background noise all year. Not to mention that I needed surgery in June. Yeah, I only mentioned that once. I had a polyp that was causing a problem, including significant blood loss for six months. The good news is that the polyp was benign. The other good news is that the surgery took care of the problem and I've felt better. Certainly six months of blood loss could have been a contributing factor to the fatigue.

We've also been trying to identify if there's anything else contributing to my fatigue. My doctor(s) want me to {consistently} get 8 hours of sleep. Evidently, that is really important. So, I'm really, really working on that. Fatigue has plagued me all year. Anyhoo, last week I received blood work results and I have a serious B12 deficiency. That, in addition to my asthma (and everything else), could certainly be contributing to my fatigue. The good news? It's totally treatable. I've got to make another Dr. appt to begin a treatment plan which could be as simple as a vitamin regimen. Though, more likely there will be some shots to get us started. I am SOOOOOO hopeful that we will be able to kick out the fatigue and I can be more energetic.

I'm actually quite excited about the good things that will be coming my way in '13.

I will leave you with something I wrote in September. I still believe these things. And, I like looking back at this...it helps me stay grounded.